Last Thursday after breakfast I herded the girls into the nursery to change Turtle’s poopy diaper. I pulled off her pants with one hand and threw them on the floor as I walked into the room, then used that hand to scoop up her legs and place her on the changing table. SQUISH. I scream-squealed at the massive handful of lumpy green poop oozing through my fingers and around the stones on my wedding rings. It was all the way down Turtle’s leg and on both feet, since I had dragged her dirty pants down her legs. It was somehow on my shirt already, too. I held her down on the table with my right elbow as I pulled out wipe after wipe, trying to clean my hand and her leg and pulling my shirt off all while squealing, "ohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod." I finally got everything cleaned up, got her in a fresh diaper, wiped and rinsed out the poopy clothes and washed my hands and my rings in hot soapy water, then got a washcloth to wipe down Turtle’s legs once more for good measure. As I knelt down next to her I smelled poop again. “Argh, who pooped now?” I asked the girls, only to realize I had a big ole glop of poo on the leg of my sweats. I screamed again and pulled my pants off, now in the nursery in my bra and underwear.
I stayed that way for a good half hour, getting everything cleaned and rinsed and wrestling the girls into their clothes and shoes for our morning errands. When they were ready I sprinted across the living room (remember we have bare windows facing the street) to get myself dressed again. I always carry an extra outfit in the diaper bag for the girls, but maybe I should start stashing extra clothes for myself around the house, since I often find myself half-dressed after being vomited or pooped on, and twice lately, bled on. And maybe it’s time to get some window coverings for the living room!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
More Nicknames
Jujube. How could I forget jujube? And Super J. And Honey Bunny. Honey Bunny is said in a sad voice and goes something like this, "oh ho-ney, bu-nny, did you get an ouchie on your head?" All three of these were used within 12 hours of my last posting. I'm sure there are a dozen more I'm forgetting, and since N comes up with a handful of new ones each month (he just started using JJ), I'll never get them all down. So I guess it's time to put this to rest for now. I just had to tell you about Jujube though. It was one of Monkey's first nicknames, N invented it, and it has stuck the longest.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Nicknames
We don’t actually call the girls Monkey and Turtle. When they were newborns Monkey had long arms and legs and dark “fur” on her back, and she clung to us like a baby monkey, so we called her Monkey sometimes. When Turtle first started to gain weight she had a gigantic head with puffy cheeks, and a spindly little neck, like a cartoon turtle. So I bought a monkey hand puppet and a turtle hand puppet for Christmas last year to commemorate their state of being at the time. But we don’t collect monkeys or turtles or anything like that. I just like to use the names for this blog because it creates some distance so my posts can read more like little stories.
We do have dozens of nicknames for the girls that we use on a regular basis, though. Some I use more than N and vice versa but I thought it would be fun to list as many as I can think of. So without further ado, here are all the things we actually do call our little girls every day:
Baby girl, cutie pie, cutie muffin, silly muffin, cuddle muffin, muffin, sweetie pie, honey bun, bun, honey bear, honey, Jay, Miss J, jaybird, JZ, JB, Big J, stinky pants, little monkey, little munchkin, ‘lil lil’, little flower, beautiful girl, droolsie, joolsie, cheesy, pookaburra, special sauce, lilipin, smarty Jones, Missy Moo, superstar.
Rest assured that despite this plethora of silly nicknames, they do know and respond to their real names.
We do have dozens of nicknames for the girls that we use on a regular basis, though. Some I use more than N and vice versa but I thought it would be fun to list as many as I can think of. So without further ado, here are all the things we actually do call our little girls every day:
Baby girl, cutie pie, cutie muffin, silly muffin, cuddle muffin, muffin, sweetie pie, honey bun, bun, honey bear, honey, Jay, Miss J, jaybird, JZ, JB, Big J, stinky pants, little monkey, little munchkin, ‘lil lil’, little flower, beautiful girl, droolsie, joolsie, cheesy, pookaburra, special sauce, lilipin, smarty Jones, Missy Moo, superstar.
Rest assured that despite this plethora of silly nicknames, they do know and respond to their real names.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Milestones
Turtle and Monkey are 13 months old now, and we’ve gone through so many changes over the past several weeks it’s like a whole new world. First of all, I missed their “13 month birthday.” I used to count down the days until the 22d of the month and take lots of photos to commemorate their new “month-age.” Last month the 22d came and went and I didn’t even notice. I guess that’s what happens when you’re trying to keep up with the busy schedule of two one-year-olds!
That brings us to the next topic – eating schedules. I thought feeding schedules were restricted to newborns, but no! The girls were fully weaned from their bottles about a week after their first birthday, but guess what? Toddlers still need to eat six times a day. And just as I expected, sitting two toddlers down to eat three or four meals and two or three snacks every day is much, much more work than tossing them a bottle and letting them chow down. It feels like I am forever calculating when they last ate and what in the world I’m going to feed them next. Applesauce, bananas, yogurt, toast, waffles, eggs, tofu, graham crackers, kiwi, cereal, avocado, pasta. These are just a few of the staples we keep on hand. When I ask, “ready to eat, girls?” they crawl to the kitchen as fast as they can and try to climb up into their highchairs. If you say “milk,” they start to yell and fuss until you get them a cup of milk, even if you were just commenting, “We need to get more milk.” So we spell things a lot now. “M-i-l-k; L-O-V-I-E; W-A-L-K” – anything they really like has to be spelled unless you are committed to giving it to them that second.
Next up is: ONE NAP! I thought having the girls on just one nap a day would actually be a good thing. But at each stage I learn I really had no idea what I was in for at the next stage. It is freaking hard to entertain two toddlers for hours on end. I thought we’d get to go do lots of things during their longer waking periods. But I didn’t think about the fact that I’d have to actually start getting up much earlier than them to prepare for the day, and that I’d have to think ahead to the next meal or snack all day, and that they’d hate their car seats and stroller. So my fantasy of driving down to the hike and bike trail, going for a long run with them in the jogging stroller, and then driving home in time for a midday nap is just that, a fantasy. I’m pretty sure being strapped into a seat for that long would be Monkey’s worst nightmare, and we’ve already established I try to avoid upsetting that girl at all costs. Even Turtle might have a word with me if she was cooped up for two or three hours without being able to get out and crawl or practice walking. And I’d have to take food with me and feed them somewhere, and what if one of them needed a diaper change? Forget it, it’s easier to just sit in the living room and sing “The Wheels on the Bus” 47 times.
I actually don’t do this every day anymore, though, and that is our biggest milestone: daycare. On November 3, Monkey and Turtle started going to a childcare center very close to our house. They go MWF from 8:30-4:30, and I am continuing to work as I had been while they were home, except now I can actually talk to a client without a kid screaming in the background, so that’s nice. I was able to take them to the daycare a couple of times before we officially started, and we played in their classroom both times for a little over an hour, so they didn’t cry when I left them the first day. Now that they know they are staying all day, they do cry when I leave. Mr. Lovie is an immediate comfort to Turtle and she actually smiled and waved goodbye on Monday, so that was really exciting for me. Monkey has a complete meltdown most mornings but is always smiley and happy when I go to pick her up. Turtle got sick a couple of times right off the bat, and so she missed about three days this first month and Monkey had to go to school without her. It has definitely been a big adjustment for all three of us, but I think we’re managing it okay.
One last thing – Monkey is very close to being an official “walker.” She can walk across the room without falling, which she does many times a day with a big smile on her face. She loves to show off how well she can walk and we love to cheer her on. As expected, she took her time, took lots of tiny steps to start, and is methodically building up her expertise. Turtle still takes a few wild steps and then falls, so even though she started walking first I expect she won’t focus on getting it down until she sees Monkey running around the house without her.
Well that’s my big news update from the world of Monkey and Turtle. I’m feeling overwhelmed trying to get ready for Christmas so my posts may be shorter or less frequent this month. Rest assured, though, little blog stories are always brewing in my head so there will be plenty to read for months (and hopefully years) to come.
That brings us to the next topic – eating schedules. I thought feeding schedules were restricted to newborns, but no! The girls were fully weaned from their bottles about a week after their first birthday, but guess what? Toddlers still need to eat six times a day. And just as I expected, sitting two toddlers down to eat three or four meals and two or three snacks every day is much, much more work than tossing them a bottle and letting them chow down. It feels like I am forever calculating when they last ate and what in the world I’m going to feed them next. Applesauce, bananas, yogurt, toast, waffles, eggs, tofu, graham crackers, kiwi, cereal, avocado, pasta. These are just a few of the staples we keep on hand. When I ask, “ready to eat, girls?” they crawl to the kitchen as fast as they can and try to climb up into their highchairs. If you say “milk,” they start to yell and fuss until you get them a cup of milk, even if you were just commenting, “We need to get more milk.” So we spell things a lot now. “M-i-l-k; L-O-V-I-E; W-A-L-K” – anything they really like has to be spelled unless you are committed to giving it to them that second.
Next up is: ONE NAP! I thought having the girls on just one nap a day would actually be a good thing. But at each stage I learn I really had no idea what I was in for at the next stage. It is freaking hard to entertain two toddlers for hours on end. I thought we’d get to go do lots of things during their longer waking periods. But I didn’t think about the fact that I’d have to actually start getting up much earlier than them to prepare for the day, and that I’d have to think ahead to the next meal or snack all day, and that they’d hate their car seats and stroller. So my fantasy of driving down to the hike and bike trail, going for a long run with them in the jogging stroller, and then driving home in time for a midday nap is just that, a fantasy. I’m pretty sure being strapped into a seat for that long would be Monkey’s worst nightmare, and we’ve already established I try to avoid upsetting that girl at all costs. Even Turtle might have a word with me if she was cooped up for two or three hours without being able to get out and crawl or practice walking. And I’d have to take food with me and feed them somewhere, and what if one of them needed a diaper change? Forget it, it’s easier to just sit in the living room and sing “The Wheels on the Bus” 47 times.
I actually don’t do this every day anymore, though, and that is our biggest milestone: daycare. On November 3, Monkey and Turtle started going to a childcare center very close to our house. They go MWF from 8:30-4:30, and I am continuing to work as I had been while they were home, except now I can actually talk to a client without a kid screaming in the background, so that’s nice. I was able to take them to the daycare a couple of times before we officially started, and we played in their classroom both times for a little over an hour, so they didn’t cry when I left them the first day. Now that they know they are staying all day, they do cry when I leave. Mr. Lovie is an immediate comfort to Turtle and she actually smiled and waved goodbye on Monday, so that was really exciting for me. Monkey has a complete meltdown most mornings but is always smiley and happy when I go to pick her up. Turtle got sick a couple of times right off the bat, and so she missed about three days this first month and Monkey had to go to school without her. It has definitely been a big adjustment for all three of us, but I think we’re managing it okay.
One last thing – Monkey is very close to being an official “walker.” She can walk across the room without falling, which she does many times a day with a big smile on her face. She loves to show off how well she can walk and we love to cheer her on. As expected, she took her time, took lots of tiny steps to start, and is methodically building up her expertise. Turtle still takes a few wild steps and then falls, so even though she started walking first I expect she won’t focus on getting it down until she sees Monkey running around the house without her.
Well that’s my big news update from the world of Monkey and Turtle. I’m feeling overwhelmed trying to get ready for Christmas so my posts may be shorter or less frequent this month. Rest assured, though, little blog stories are always brewing in my head so there will be plenty to read for months (and hopefully years) to come.
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