Tomorrow Monkey and Turtle start kindergarten. I have taken vacation from my full time
in-house counsel job to stay home with them since last Wednesday. And I have gone from being weepy-ish on Wednesday
to looking at the clock at noon today and wondering whether I was going to make
it until 7:30 AM Monday morning without strangling a member of my family.
It was nice at first to revisit life as a stay at home mom. On Thursday I squeezed the kids into their
BOB stroller and walked them around the neighborhood for an hour, like I did
when they were infants. I really got a
lot of personal benefit from that, re-living the experience of pushing my
babies all over the neighborhood and thinking about the new phase of life we
were about to begin. Then when we were
almost home Turtle start bitching up a storm about how I had ruined her whole
day by making her go outside and get her back all sweaty. That reminded me how I began planning to return
to work shortly after the girls began to talk . . .
Monkey has been on a real tear of negative behavior, and the
last two days have been doozies. We know
she is anxious about transitions in general, and for this one she has brought
out the big guns. Hitting, tantrums,
arguing over the simplest statements. I
have relied on the training we received from the family therapist we went to
when Monkey was 3.5. Which means I’m letting the girl rage against
the machine as much as she wants, and giving her love and kisses and hugs at
every opportunity. This worked a miracle
when Monkey was 3.5. It has kept me sane
these past few days and I think it definitely helped that we're not trying to
talk her into being happy about kindergarten.
She is mostly calling it “stupid” and “hateful” and saying that she
hates kindergarten and blah blah blah. I
just listen and don’t argue back. I think
she is more annoyed by what a big deal everyone is making over it and how
everyone is telling her how exciting it is and how she’s going to love it and
so it has made her realize this is a Big Transition, and she doesn’t like
those. I have zero concern about her
ability to be friendly and cooperative in the classroom. If preschool is any guide, she’ll do fine in
class, then she’ll come home and have 14 tantrums and then go back the next day
the model student, and we’ll live through it just like we’ve lived through all
her other difficult transitions.
We did have one fabulous experience this week, and that was
going to the Rockin' River water park in Round Rock. It is a small water park with no water deeper
than 3’ 6” and so it is perfect for the girls.
We had a great time, better than when I used to take them when they were
younger. The first time we went, when we
tried to leave Monkey had a total meltdown and sat down in the middle of the
park screaming while everyone stared at us. This time it was such a low stress experience - they are tall enough and swim well enough that I don't have to hang on them every moment - that we stayed until they were worn out
and we all left happy.
I feel like I’ve been doing laundry and dishes nonstop for 5
days. I know there was a time, on this
very blog, when I extolled the virtues of a mop for Christmas. But that season has passed and now I will be
glad to go back to work Tuesday and let the house go back to being a semi pig
sty.
I’ve been meaning to write this Chapter 3 post for
ages. I went back to work full time last
September, as an attorney. Twin Daddy
works part-time now, so he can pick up the kids, make dinner, and generally be
the primary care giver. I know in the past
I have discussed my poor cooking skills, and I honestly don’t think I have made
a family dinner in over a year at this point.
Twin Daddy does the meal plan and grocery shopping and cooking, and he and
I are both so much happier with this arrangement. He gets to do what he likes, I don’t have to
do what I don’t like, and we both end up with a much tastier dinner. Win-win-win.
The girls have adjusted really well to this new arrangement at
this point. It was a little rough last
fall and I had a hard time the first time I had to take a business trip away
from them - I ended up taking one trip a month between January and April of this
year, and I was hating it by April. I
was actually happy that my week-long business trip to Europe got cancelled this
summer. Turns out that I will likely be
going in January now, so I’ll be simultaneously missing my family and nearly
freezing to death. Sarcasm aside, the travel is actually a positive as far as
my career is concerned – it means people value my presence and want me to
participate in certain meetings, and I do certainly appreciate that and want to
foster it. I feel sooo lucky that I was
able to find a job that I enjoy, where I know I’m making positive contributions
regularly, and where I have pretty good opportunities for growth, all after
being at home with the kids for several years and in a sluggishly recovering
economy. So don’t take my travel
complaints too seriously, it’s all pretty good.
In fact, as our family enters Chapter 3, I am a very content wife,
mother and lawyer. I still sometimes
feel like I need to pinch myself, that it can’t be possible my life has turned
out this well. On one business trip when
I was having a room service breakfast - something I consider the height of
luxuriousness and one of my absolutely most favorite things to do on earth - I looked
at myself in the mirror and was nearly overcome with joy. Mind you, I was alone eating breakfast with
my reflection as company. But knowing I
was about to go to a meeting at a job I enjoy, and that my supportive husband
was taking excellent care of my children back home so that I could be there in
that moment without having to worry
about them, it was just so much I was overcome with gratitude.
It was a really good breakfast, too.
