Monkey loves being mommy’s helper. She gets both her shoes and Turtle’s shoes and brings them to me so we can go “side” (outside). She helps me with the laundry – yesterday she carried as many clean clothes as her little arms could hold from the laundry room to the living room. She is also showing a deeply sweet side - she reaches for Turtle’s hand when we go out for walks and is the first to give out kisses at bedtime. These wonderful instincts have really sharpened over the past week.
Also over the past week, Monkey has had a number of hysterical meltdowns. Sometimes when I try to put her in her highchair, she screams and claws and stiffens her legs and generally fights like I’m trying to put her in a pot of boiling water. She may eat the food she’s offered, or she may scream when she sees it, dump over the contents of the plate, and then throw the plate on the floor.
The biggest struggle we had this week was over an apple. She kept saying “apul, apul” (this was after she had thrown the offered lunch on the floor). So I peeled an apple and cut her a few slices. Which she threw on the floor. So I moved on to cheese. I cut her a slice, she ate a bite, and seemed happy. I cut the slice into little pieces. Which she threw on the floor. That’s when I kind of lost it – I held her arms tightly to her side so she’d stop throwing the food and said through clenched teeth, “This is what there is to eat.” She started crying, a really sad cry, not like the frustrated screaming she’d been doing moments before. It was like she was saying, “I can’t make myself understood and now Mommy is mad at me.” That calmed me down quickly, so I gave her a hug and asked her again what she wanted. She said “apul.” I gave her the whole apple this time, and she was so happy, holding the big apple all by herself and taking bites out of it like a grownup. That’s when it dawned on me that she didn’t want her food cut into little pieces like she was some kind of baby! So I gave her a huge chunk of cheese and she took a bite out of it, then set it on the table, all the while hugging her huge apple close to her chest. She chewed that apple pretty much down to the core, stopping occasionally to take a bite of her big hunk of cheese, and she was happy, and the storm passed.
What is Turtle doing during all this? Sometimes she follows Monkey’s lead in throwing her plate on the floor, which sometimes pushes me to pick up one of those plates and throw it into the sink as hard as I can. But usually she just ignores Monkey’s tirade and eats until she’s finished, which is a relief.
Now, I know I make Turtle out to be a little angel, but let me tell you Turtle’s secret: she’s a biter. And I don’t mean love bites. I’m talking tear-the-flesh-off-your-arm bites. Just ask Monkey, the unlucky recipient of the wrath of Turtle. Yesterday Turtle was sitting on the fireplace hearth and Monkey had the audacity to come sit down next to her. Turtle leaned over and bit Monkey on the arm so severely that it left a deep mark, which turned into a swollen red welt, and then settled into a purply bruise. Turtle has been a biter pretty much since her first tooth came in, but she’s really picked up the pace over the past couple of weeks; Monkey always has a bite bruise somewhere on her body. I correct her every time, give her a short “time out” and then make her “apologize” to Monkey, which she does by kind of leaning over and patting Monkey on the arm. But I am terrified that she is going to bite someone in our playgroup one of these days, causing me to die of horror on the spot. If Monkey had a huge meltdown at the playground, I’d be embarrassed but I’d get through it. But if Turtle takes a hunk of flesh out of someone else’s kid, well, I just don’t think I could show my face again. I wonder why biting seems so awful, so stigmatized, when it's a common issue? My guess is that it seems primitive and violent, something that a proper suburban child just shouldn’t do if she’s being raised right. So I’ll be watching little Turtle like a hawk tomorrow afternoon at the playground.
I could go on forever about every little idiosyncrasy of each of the girls as they hurtle through toddlerhood; this post has barely scratched the surface of their escapades this week. I didn’t even talk about the night Monkey refused to be put in the bath, screaming and climbing out repeatedly until we gave up; or about the next night, when it was Turtle’s turn to melt down at bath time, screaming and climbing out of the tub repeatedly until we gave up. Or about the night when they kissed each other at least twenty times before bedtime. Or how cute it was the other day when they held hands as they walked around the driveway. Every day we have a high and a low, and sometimes Monkey is the sweet angel and Turtle is the drama queen. I try to remind myself daily that my job as Twin Momma is to focus on each girl as an individual, to help each girl develop the full spectrum of her personality, and to forgive myself on those days when I handle the stress by screaming like a banshee.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
(almost) Losing Mr. Lovey
Sometimes it feels like Turtle’s Mr. Lovey is my third child. I’m always keeping an eye out for him, and I wouldn’t dare leave the house without him. I bathe him several times a week. I’m embarrassed when other people notice that he’s particularly stinky or dirty. It ruffles my feathers when Twin Daddy calls him “it” as in “Are you looking for your lovey, Turtle? Here it is.” Mr. Lovey is a he, thank you very much.
Mr. Lovey is also my back-up, my buddy, my helper. When Turtle has a particularly nasty ouchy, I may be her first line of comfort, but her recovery is not complete until we go find Mr. Lovey. She snatches him into her arms, twirls him around a bit, and then sticks him in her mouth. As soon as we get in the car, she whines until I deliver Mr. Lovey, and then she happily (and quietly) chews on him until we reach our destination. He is all she needs to go right to sleep. Mr. Lovey is a miracle worker, and I don’t think I could parent both girls at home alone without his help.
When it’s time for Turtle to give him up, I plan to give him the best bath I can and then seal him in a plastic bag, saving him to comfort me some day when my little Turtle Maria grows up and moves away.
I didn’t realize how attached I was to Mr. Lovey until last Friday. We came home after a frazzled afternoon – I had taken Turtle (with Monkey in tow) to the pediatrician for conjunctivitis and an ear infection, then to H.E.B. to get the antibiotic prescription filled. Turtle was miserable, sagging over the seat of the “car” double cart with her pink watery eyes and runny nose. Monkey was making me miserable, whining non-stop the entire twenty minutes in the store, hating being strapped into the cart, then whining the whole way home, hating being strapped into her car seat. Minutes after we got home, I realized Mr. Lovey was nowhere to be found. Not in Turtle’s car seat, not on the floorboard, not in the stroller. She was whining for him and for the first time ever, I couldn’t find him.
I immediately thought we left him in the cart at the H.E.B. I called the store but he hadn’t been turned in to Lost and Found, so the minute Twin Daddy got home I rushed out the door and drove like a maniac back to H.E.B. I checked all around the parking lot, and then walked up and down every aisle. I accosted every parent in the store with a car double cart, but none of them had found a yellow duck lovey the size of a washcloth. I imagined my poor, sick Turtle crying herself to sleep that night because Mr. Lovey wasn’t there, and my eyes filled with tears. I checked the parking lot one more time but it was no use.
I cried the whole way home. It was too undignified an ending for Mr. Lovey - dropped in a parking lot, to be run over by strangers who had no idea what a loyal friend Mr. Lovey has been, through vomit and snot and poop and so many tears. And it was much too soon for poor Turtle, who was in no way ready to let him go.
I pulled into the garage and opened up the Saturn once more, determined that he must be in there, he simply could not be lost. I pulled out the stroller, shook it out, began opening pouches I never use, and . . . I found him! Relief washed over me, then I burst into tears again. I pulled Mr. Lovey to my face and basked in his stinkiness. I ran into the house, a triumphant, blubbering mess. Turtle smiled and put her arms out for her old friend, then pulled him close and started chewing on his ear. I put her in my lap and buried my face in her neck, trying to get a hold of myself. Twin Daddy patted me on the back and didn’t say a word, but I’m sure he was thinking, “I wonder where Monkey gets all her theatrics?”
And so Mr. Lovey was safe, and I vowed that he would never leave Turtle’s car seat unless we were at home. I am in no way ready to let him go.
Mr. Lovey is also my back-up, my buddy, my helper. When Turtle has a particularly nasty ouchy, I may be her first line of comfort, but her recovery is not complete until we go find Mr. Lovey. She snatches him into her arms, twirls him around a bit, and then sticks him in her mouth. As soon as we get in the car, she whines until I deliver Mr. Lovey, and then she happily (and quietly) chews on him until we reach our destination. He is all she needs to go right to sleep. Mr. Lovey is a miracle worker, and I don’t think I could parent both girls at home alone without his help.
When it’s time for Turtle to give him up, I plan to give him the best bath I can and then seal him in a plastic bag, saving him to comfort me some day when my little Turtle Maria grows up and moves away.
I didn’t realize how attached I was to Mr. Lovey until last Friday. We came home after a frazzled afternoon – I had taken Turtle (with Monkey in tow) to the pediatrician for conjunctivitis and an ear infection, then to H.E.B. to get the antibiotic prescription filled. Turtle was miserable, sagging over the seat of the “car” double cart with her pink watery eyes and runny nose. Monkey was making me miserable, whining non-stop the entire twenty minutes in the store, hating being strapped into the cart, then whining the whole way home, hating being strapped into her car seat. Minutes after we got home, I realized Mr. Lovey was nowhere to be found. Not in Turtle’s car seat, not on the floorboard, not in the stroller. She was whining for him and for the first time ever, I couldn’t find him.
I immediately thought we left him in the cart at the H.E.B. I called the store but he hadn’t been turned in to Lost and Found, so the minute Twin Daddy got home I rushed out the door and drove like a maniac back to H.E.B. I checked all around the parking lot, and then walked up and down every aisle. I accosted every parent in the store with a car double cart, but none of them had found a yellow duck lovey the size of a washcloth. I imagined my poor, sick Turtle crying herself to sleep that night because Mr. Lovey wasn’t there, and my eyes filled with tears. I checked the parking lot one more time but it was no use.
I cried the whole way home. It was too undignified an ending for Mr. Lovey - dropped in a parking lot, to be run over by strangers who had no idea what a loyal friend Mr. Lovey has been, through vomit and snot and poop and so many tears. And it was much too soon for poor Turtle, who was in no way ready to let him go.
I pulled into the garage and opened up the Saturn once more, determined that he must be in there, he simply could not be lost. I pulled out the stroller, shook it out, began opening pouches I never use, and . . . I found him! Relief washed over me, then I burst into tears again. I pulled Mr. Lovey to my face and basked in his stinkiness. I ran into the house, a triumphant, blubbering mess. Turtle smiled and put her arms out for her old friend, then pulled him close and started chewing on his ear. I put her in my lap and buried my face in her neck, trying to get a hold of myself. Twin Daddy patted me on the back and didn’t say a word, but I’m sure he was thinking, “I wonder where Monkey gets all her theatrics?”
And so Mr. Lovey was safe, and I vowed that he would never leave Turtle’s car seat unless we were at home. I am in no way ready to let him go.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Happy Anniversary!
Today Twin Momma and Twin Daddy celebrate their 7th wedding anniversary. Yay to us!! We're taking the girls in to day care and going to lunch and a movie.
Two years ago today, the nurse from my OB's office called with the blood test results: "You are definitely pregnant!" It was a thrill to get the official news on our 5th anniversary, and we celebrated with a delicious and obscenely expensive dinner at the Driskill Grill. I didn't have a drop of wine, of course, what with being 15 days pregnant and all.
A few days later I had a second blood test to make sure my "numbers" were going up like they were supposed to - the nurse said something like, "you are doing great, your numbers are way up."
Way up? I remember smiling wide and thinking, "Maybe it's twins!"
Two years ago today, the nurse from my OB's office called with the blood test results: "You are definitely pregnant!" It was a thrill to get the official news on our 5th anniversary, and we celebrated with a delicious and obscenely expensive dinner at the Driskill Grill. I didn't have a drop of wine, of course, what with being 15 days pregnant and all.
A few days later I had a second blood test to make sure my "numbers" were going up like they were supposed to - the nurse said something like, "you are doing great, your numbers are way up."
Way up? I remember smiling wide and thinking, "Maybe it's twins!"
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Schedule
I’ve been getting our tax information together for our accountant and I’m feeling extremely left-brained and uncreative. I’ve got nothing cute to say, so I thought I’d share our weekday schedule. I’m still working on the activities but this is the flow we’re in now.
6:30-7:15AM: Get up, shower, get dressed, make breakfast for the babies, make myself a cup of hot tea and a bowl of cheerios.
7:15/7:30-8: Get the girls up, change diapers, herd them to the kitchen and serve them breakfast. Getting them to breakfast is easy – they know the routine and practically run to the kitchen as soon as I open the door to the nursery to let them out. It's always the same thing: A sliced boiled egg, half a banana, and cheerios or hot cereal, with a cup of milk or diluted apple juice. Occasionally I go crazy and throw in a mini whole wheat bagel. They inhale breakfast.
8-9: Showtime for Twin Momma! We go to the playroom and I sing songs from the public library’s “Books and Babies Storytime.” When I get out the little handout of songs the librarian gave us, Turtle immediately sits down in front of me, ready to go.
After about ten minutes of singing in English and Spanish, I move on to books. One of my favorites is “My Little Word Book,” a large board book filled with photos and words for building vocabulary. We go page by page talking about every picture. When we get to the “In the Home” page we look at the clock in the book and then find the clock in the room. When we get to the “On the Farm” page we sing Old MacDonald and use the animals pictured to fill out the song. This can last as long as 20 minutes, and the girls look at the pictures in that book all day long. This evening Turtle lugged the book all the way to the kitchen where the cat was eating, pointed to the cat, and then pointed to the cat in the book. She’s brilliant.
Next, it’s time to “play stickers.” I give the girls pages of those little round dot stickers you use for garage sales and they peel them off the page and stick them into a giant coloring book. I tried crayons and various other kinds of coloring things for “Art Time” but Monkey still wants to eat everything and Turtle is very messy with a short attention span, so we're sticking with the stickers. They love to peel them and stick them all over the place, and they are super easy to clean up, so it works for everyone. Stickers last another 10 minutes or so – sometimes much longer for Monkey - and then we “free play” with some of their 8 gajillion toys.
9AM: YES, it really is only 9AM at this point. Sigh.
9:15AM: Snack time! I usually chop some fruit, maybe with cottage cheese and/or a piece of toast. Then it’s time to get the girls dressed for the day and head out to any activity we have planned.
9:45-11AM: Monday I took the girls out for a haircut, Tuesday we had a playdate with M. and M. in South Austin, Wednesday we had Storytime at the library. I am working hard to avoid store errands with the girls and have been fairly successful for the past three weeks. I don’t want to raise a couple of hyper-consumers and I’m pretty sure taking them to Target three times a week was sending the wrong message! So I do my store errands after they go to bed or on the weekends now. I know eventually they will be corrupted, but while they are very small and under my complete control I’m trying to enforce my “No TV, No sweets, No shopping” mantra.
11:15-11:30: Lunchtime! Depending on what they had for their snack, we’ll have yogurt with a waffle, or diced turkey breast with peas and toast, or something like that.
11:45-1:45ish: NAP. Oh sweet Jesus it’s naptime. I take a twenty minute break to eat, then I clean up the kitchen from breakfast, snack and lunch, get a crock pot meal going if that’s the dinner plan, and then figure out which of the 25 things on my “to list” are the most pressing to take care of.
1:45-2:30ish: Girls wake up, get fresh diapers, play in the playroom until snack time.
2:30-3: Snack Time. I decide what to give them based on what and how they’ve eaten so far that day. Tuesday they had grapes and cheese, mmm, their favorite. There’s never a drop of food thrown on the ground on grapes and cheese day.
3-5: Activity time. On Wednesdays and Fridays my neighborhood playgroup meets at the playground at 3:30; on Thursdays we have a Mommy and Me Spanish class at 3:30. This past Tuesday we had a playdate with E. and L. at our house. I have to be careful about balancing our time out of the house because (a) they (especially Monkey) gets extremely cranky if we have to drive somewhere twice in the same day and (b) Twin Momma gets worn out from hauling girls, making snacks for the road, and thinking ten steps ahead to plan an outing.
5-5:30: Dinner time (for the girls - N and I wait to eat until after they go to bed). Most days they have something like tofu with broccoli or pasta with mixed vegetables, heavy on the green beans. You may not think organic whole grain spirals with ground flaxseed sounds good, but Turtle shovels it in by the fistful. I mix it up with the occasional cheese quesadilla but generally they just like to inhale as many green beans as possible and call it a night. As dinner winds down I start counting the seconds until N gets home, around 5:49PM most days. If he’s not home by 5:55PM I start to hyperventilate.
5:50-6:50: DADDY PLAY TIME! This is a wonderfully unstructured time, with lots of dance parties, and tickling, and chasing, and shrieks of baby laughter filling the house. I can finally relax and just play, and I generally model whatever N is doing because he’s got all the energy and the fun. The girls kind of look at me weird when I copy N doing something silly, though. It’s like they’re saying, “It’s only funny when Daddy does it, Mommy. You just look dumb.”
6:50-7:20: Bath and Bedtime. Whew.
7:25: Collapse on the couch for 2 minutes before starting dinner and taking care of household management and preparing for the next day.
10PM: Twin Momma Bedtime!! Decide which of the six books on my nightstand I'll read that night and read for ten minutes before passing out.
It's a whirlwind, but I love it.
6:30-7:15AM: Get up, shower, get dressed, make breakfast for the babies, make myself a cup of hot tea and a bowl of cheerios.
7:15/7:30-8: Get the girls up, change diapers, herd them to the kitchen and serve them breakfast. Getting them to breakfast is easy – they know the routine and practically run to the kitchen as soon as I open the door to the nursery to let them out. It's always the same thing: A sliced boiled egg, half a banana, and cheerios or hot cereal, with a cup of milk or diluted apple juice. Occasionally I go crazy and throw in a mini whole wheat bagel. They inhale breakfast.
8-9: Showtime for Twin Momma! We go to the playroom and I sing songs from the public library’s “Books and Babies Storytime.” When I get out the little handout of songs the librarian gave us, Turtle immediately sits down in front of me, ready to go.
After about ten minutes of singing in English and Spanish, I move on to books. One of my favorites is “My Little Word Book,” a large board book filled with photos and words for building vocabulary. We go page by page talking about every picture. When we get to the “In the Home” page we look at the clock in the book and then find the clock in the room. When we get to the “On the Farm” page we sing Old MacDonald and use the animals pictured to fill out the song. This can last as long as 20 minutes, and the girls look at the pictures in that book all day long. This evening Turtle lugged the book all the way to the kitchen where the cat was eating, pointed to the cat, and then pointed to the cat in the book. She’s brilliant.
Next, it’s time to “play stickers.” I give the girls pages of those little round dot stickers you use for garage sales and they peel them off the page and stick them into a giant coloring book. I tried crayons and various other kinds of coloring things for “Art Time” but Monkey still wants to eat everything and Turtle is very messy with a short attention span, so we're sticking with the stickers. They love to peel them and stick them all over the place, and they are super easy to clean up, so it works for everyone. Stickers last another 10 minutes or so – sometimes much longer for Monkey - and then we “free play” with some of their 8 gajillion toys.
9AM: YES, it really is only 9AM at this point. Sigh.
9:15AM: Snack time! I usually chop some fruit, maybe with cottage cheese and/or a piece of toast. Then it’s time to get the girls dressed for the day and head out to any activity we have planned.
9:45-11AM: Monday I took the girls out for a haircut, Tuesday we had a playdate with M. and M. in South Austin, Wednesday we had Storytime at the library. I am working hard to avoid store errands with the girls and have been fairly successful for the past three weeks. I don’t want to raise a couple of hyper-consumers and I’m pretty sure taking them to Target three times a week was sending the wrong message! So I do my store errands after they go to bed or on the weekends now. I know eventually they will be corrupted, but while they are very small and under my complete control I’m trying to enforce my “No TV, No sweets, No shopping” mantra.
11:15-11:30: Lunchtime! Depending on what they had for their snack, we’ll have yogurt with a waffle, or diced turkey breast with peas and toast, or something like that.
11:45-1:45ish: NAP. Oh sweet Jesus it’s naptime. I take a twenty minute break to eat, then I clean up the kitchen from breakfast, snack and lunch, get a crock pot meal going if that’s the dinner plan, and then figure out which of the 25 things on my “to list” are the most pressing to take care of.
1:45-2:30ish: Girls wake up, get fresh diapers, play in the playroom until snack time.
2:30-3: Snack Time. I decide what to give them based on what and how they’ve eaten so far that day. Tuesday they had grapes and cheese, mmm, their favorite. There’s never a drop of food thrown on the ground on grapes and cheese day.
3-5: Activity time. On Wednesdays and Fridays my neighborhood playgroup meets at the playground at 3:30; on Thursdays we have a Mommy and Me Spanish class at 3:30. This past Tuesday we had a playdate with E. and L. at our house. I have to be careful about balancing our time out of the house because (a) they (especially Monkey) gets extremely cranky if we have to drive somewhere twice in the same day and (b) Twin Momma gets worn out from hauling girls, making snacks for the road, and thinking ten steps ahead to plan an outing.
5-5:30: Dinner time (for the girls - N and I wait to eat until after they go to bed). Most days they have something like tofu with broccoli or pasta with mixed vegetables, heavy on the green beans. You may not think organic whole grain spirals with ground flaxseed sounds good, but Turtle shovels it in by the fistful. I mix it up with the occasional cheese quesadilla but generally they just like to inhale as many green beans as possible and call it a night. As dinner winds down I start counting the seconds until N gets home, around 5:49PM most days. If he’s not home by 5:55PM I start to hyperventilate.
5:50-6:50: DADDY PLAY TIME! This is a wonderfully unstructured time, with lots of dance parties, and tickling, and chasing, and shrieks of baby laughter filling the house. I can finally relax and just play, and I generally model whatever N is doing because he’s got all the energy and the fun. The girls kind of look at me weird when I copy N doing something silly, though. It’s like they’re saying, “It’s only funny when Daddy does it, Mommy. You just look dumb.”
6:50-7:20: Bath and Bedtime. Whew.
7:25: Collapse on the couch for 2 minutes before starting dinner and taking care of household management and preparing for the next day.
10PM: Twin Momma Bedtime!! Decide which of the six books on my nightstand I'll read that night and read for ten minutes before passing out.
It's a whirlwind, but I love it.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Toddler Tales
Maybe I’m incompetent. That’s one explanation for the stories I’m about to share.
The Mall: Turtle, Monkey and I were at the family bathroom at Lakeline Mall. I changed Monkey’s diaper while Turtle sat in the stroller, but Monkey didn’t want back in the stroller while I changed Turtle’s diaper. I surveyed the clean bathroom and thought to myself, “What is the worst than can happen if I let Monkey wander around?” I thought she might splash her hands in the child-sized toilet, but I knew she would scream nonstop while I changed Turtle if she was stuck in the stroller, so I took the risk. She stayed close to me at first, but eventually headed over to the toilet. She started pulling the toilet paper off the roll, and I thought that would be sufficiently entertaining. But then she stuck her hands into the toilet water . . . and sucked on her fingers. Again and again as I begged her to stop, cursing my failure of imagination, and powerless to yank her away because I had my hands full with Turtle, still half diapered on the elevated changing table.
Apples: The girls were playing in the kitchen and eating sliced apples. Monkey put her hands up towards the apples on the counter and started grunting and fussing. She can say “a-pul” clear as day so I said, “Say apple, honey, ask for an apple, you can do it.” In the time it took me to work on this little lesson with Monkey, Turtle stopped what she was doing, opened her mouth, let the chewed up apple fall out onto the floor, and then went on her merry way. Before I even finished saying, “Turtle, don’t spit your food out, please” Monkey picked up the pieces off the floor and ate them.
Poop: We were in the nursery, getting ready for naptime, and I was trying to show the girls how to help me put books away. Turtle was halfway paying attention, so I focused on her while Monkey sat pulling pajamas out of the drawer. I was crawling around the room gathering all the books when suddenly Monkey was right by my side, with Turtle’s dirty diaper in hand. She had managed to pull it off the changing table, open it up, and stick her hand it. Now she stood with the dirty diaper in one hand and a handful of poo in the other, looking at me with a face that clearly said, “How in the hell could you let me do this?” I consider myself lucky that she found it disgusting.
I know that anyone with two children can’t give both kids their undivided attention simultaneously. But in my fantasy world, older toddlers know better than to stick her hands in the baby’s poopy diaper, while I’m trying to manage two children who both don’t know they can fall off the deck, aren’t aware that toilet water is not for drinking, and don’t understand what “let’s stay in the driveway” means. They’ve both just started trying to climb on big furniture in earnest, and while they’re still unsuccessful, I have to say that it kind of feels like Twin Momma ain’t seen nothing yet.
The Mall: Turtle, Monkey and I were at the family bathroom at Lakeline Mall. I changed Monkey’s diaper while Turtle sat in the stroller, but Monkey didn’t want back in the stroller while I changed Turtle’s diaper. I surveyed the clean bathroom and thought to myself, “What is the worst than can happen if I let Monkey wander around?” I thought she might splash her hands in the child-sized toilet, but I knew she would scream nonstop while I changed Turtle if she was stuck in the stroller, so I took the risk. She stayed close to me at first, but eventually headed over to the toilet. She started pulling the toilet paper off the roll, and I thought that would be sufficiently entertaining. But then she stuck her hands into the toilet water . . . and sucked on her fingers. Again and again as I begged her to stop, cursing my failure of imagination, and powerless to yank her away because I had my hands full with Turtle, still half diapered on the elevated changing table.
Apples: The girls were playing in the kitchen and eating sliced apples. Monkey put her hands up towards the apples on the counter and started grunting and fussing. She can say “a-pul” clear as day so I said, “Say apple, honey, ask for an apple, you can do it.” In the time it took me to work on this little lesson with Monkey, Turtle stopped what she was doing, opened her mouth, let the chewed up apple fall out onto the floor, and then went on her merry way. Before I even finished saying, “Turtle, don’t spit your food out, please” Monkey picked up the pieces off the floor and ate them.
Poop: We were in the nursery, getting ready for naptime, and I was trying to show the girls how to help me put books away. Turtle was halfway paying attention, so I focused on her while Monkey sat pulling pajamas out of the drawer. I was crawling around the room gathering all the books when suddenly Monkey was right by my side, with Turtle’s dirty diaper in hand. She had managed to pull it off the changing table, open it up, and stick her hand it. Now she stood with the dirty diaper in one hand and a handful of poo in the other, looking at me with a face that clearly said, “How in the hell could you let me do this?” I consider myself lucky that she found it disgusting.
I know that anyone with two children can’t give both kids their undivided attention simultaneously. But in my fantasy world, older toddlers know better than to stick her hands in the baby’s poopy diaper, while I’m trying to manage two children who both don’t know they can fall off the deck, aren’t aware that toilet water is not for drinking, and don’t understand what “let’s stay in the driveway” means. They’ve both just started trying to climb on big furniture in earnest, and while they’re still unsuccessful, I have to say that it kind of feels like Twin Momma ain’t seen nothing yet.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Haircut
I got my hair cut very short about a month ago – it’s the shortest cut I’ve ever had as an adult. The change was dramatic. So dramatic that when I picked up the girls from daycare right after my haircut, they both cried. Monkey would not come to me, wouldn’t let me touch her, and wouldn’t look at me. N was with me that day because we were going straight to San Antonio for my grandfather’s funeral from the daycare. Monkey clung to him and buried her face in his chest rather than look at me.
Turtle cried, too, but I was able to carry her to the car. “Momma got her hair cut, but it’s still momma,” I explained as I put her in her seat, and I rubbed her hands through my hair. She seemed satisfied. I tried the same approach with Monkey but she just screamed when I got near her. I got in the car and told N, “I feel like Hester Prynne after she ripped off her ‘A’ and Pearl had a total melt down.” He looked at me blankly. “You know, in that scene towards the end of The Scarlet Letter,” I said. “Mmm,” he said as he drove off. Sensing he wasn’t in the mood for a discussion of nineteenth century literature with two screaming kids in the back seat and a long drive ahead of us, I let it drop.
Monkey accepted my new look by the end of that evening. But I couldn’t stop thinking about her initial reaction, so when we got home I pulled out my copy of The Scarlet Letter. I had always been really annoyed at Pearl for freaking out when her mother finally relieved herself of the burden of that scarlet A, and even more annoyed at Hester for buttoning the A back on, just to make the little brat happy. I reread the scene:
I can’t imagine how a mother who goes around comparing herself to tragic literary heroines could have possibly ended up with an overly dramatic daughter . . .
Turtle cried, too, but I was able to carry her to the car. “Momma got her hair cut, but it’s still momma,” I explained as I put her in her seat, and I rubbed her hands through my hair. She seemed satisfied. I tried the same approach with Monkey but she just screamed when I got near her. I got in the car and told N, “I feel like Hester Prynne after she ripped off her ‘A’ and Pearl had a total melt down.” He looked at me blankly. “You know, in that scene towards the end of The Scarlet Letter,” I said. “Mmm,” he said as he drove off. Sensing he wasn’t in the mood for a discussion of nineteenth century literature with two screaming kids in the back seat and a long drive ahead of us, I let it drop.
Monkey accepted my new look by the end of that evening. But I couldn’t stop thinking about her initial reaction, so when we got home I pulled out my copy of The Scarlet Letter. I had always been really annoyed at Pearl for freaking out when her mother finally relieved herself of the burden of that scarlet A, and even more annoyed at Hester for buttoning the A back on, just to make the little brat happy. I reread the scene:
Pearl. . . suddenly burst into a fit of passion, gesticulating violently, and throwing her small figure into the most extravagant contortions. She accompanied this wild outbreak with piercing shrieks. . . “I see what ails the child,” whispered Hester . . . “Children will not abide any, the slightest change in the accustomed aspect of things that are daily before their eyes. . .”So there it was, a little parenting lesson from Nathaniel Hawthorne circa 1850: Don’t go chopping your hair off without any warning if your toddler happens to have a flair for the dramatic.
I can’t imagine how a mother who goes around comparing herself to tragic literary heroines could have possibly ended up with an overly dramatic daughter . . .
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